Arianna Merritt, M.Ed.

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Online Dating: What's your view?

It seems the topic of finding love on Online Dating Sites is a popular topic in our society today.  Personally, I know many people who have found "love" or are currently using sites to find "the one".  Congrats to them. I have mixed views on the topic, and since I am not a user of such online dating sites, I am simply going through others' experience using the sites. I think these sites are good to meet people who you would consider dating, but I think the real test occurs after you meet the individual in person.  I know of many couples who found each other in person, but who would probably not be matched together if they had used a dating site.

My experience with online dating sites started when a few friends decided to start using a site and asked for my input on their profile.  I had never seen how the process worked before, so I was curious to see what happened.  They explained to me every step of how "finding your perfect match" works.  Basically, on the site they were using, you send in the fee and then fill out an in-depth questionnaire and post your pictures; you are then given your "matches" (i.e., the people who they think would be best suited for you).  Then, the individual goes through these matches and selects which ones based on appearance and personality, that they would like to pursue.

Personally, I find this process of finding "love" very unnatural.  I honestly thought that when my friends were going through the pictures to select a match, it felt like we were at a "meat market" and they were trying to find the best person.  I mean, the process is simple: you can sit at your computer, look through photos, and basically "shop" for the person you want (the one who meets all your requirements).  You each market yourself  in the ideal way.

The other thing  I find very unreal about these sites is that they make the acceptance and rejection process of relationships so easy. If you don't want to date someone or want get to know them better, all you have to do is click a button.  So much easier than having to do this in person, when someone has to come up to you and ask to date you.   It also makes the process of telling someone you are interested in them so much easier as well; all it takes is a click. However, it takes courage to tell someone in person that you like them.

All in all, I think that these online dating sites are good ways to meet people they are interested in dating. But, one should not forget that relationships are far more complex than just what two people have in common and that the other person has to have the qualities that are needed for a lasting relationship.  The other thing that is missing from these sites is the chemisty between two people.  A couple may have so many things in common but if the chemisty isn't there, the relationship isn't going to last. Relationships are hard and take work.

Thank you for reading and your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.

See you at the beach!