Why does it take hardship for people to realize a person’s character?

Let me explain. 

Recently, I made a mistake, and I’m the first to admit it.  You see, I befriended someone and we got super close and chatted regularly. Then all of a sudden, this person stopped talking to me for the period of a month (this can seem like forever if you talk to someone a lot). 

I thought the reason they pulled away had to do with me.  I am guilty of this - if someone pulls away or is upset, my first instinct is to believe that I am to blame. These are the thoughts that came into my head as soon as this person stopped talking to me: “I am the one to blame. What did I do wrong? Was it something I said? What was our last conversation?” I was really hurt that they stopped communication.

However, I was reminded of the error in my ways when all was restored and revealed the other day.  My friend sent me a message and explained their absence.  The reason they stopped connecting had nothing to do with me; they were going through an intense situation, and so they disconnected.

Here I was – thinking all these silly untrue thoughts, when I had done nothing wrong and the reason for the disconnect didn’t even involve me. I felt ridiculous. How was I a “good friend” as they are going through hard times and all I’m thinking about is myself?!

I truly believe every event happens in your life to teach you a lesson. As a result, I learned four important life lessons from this situation:

1) If someone pulls away, disconnects, or is upset – it most likely has nothing to do with you.  Let them take time to process and think; they’ll reconnect with you after they have had some space and time.  Distance (i.e., physical &/or emotional) really does make the heart grow fonder.

2) Dig deep in relationships; most things aren’t what they appear to be.

3) Give yourself more credit, and stop putting yourself down. 

4) Life is precious and goes by quickly, so make every moment count. Don’t hold on to grudges; forgive.

Thanks, friend, for reminding me of these important life lessons! You have really touched my heart in many ways and keep making me a better person.  

Thank you for reading and your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.

See you at the beach!