When talking to people over the past few months, many have independently mentioned how years ago I was “floundering” in terms of transitioning from recent graduate to established professional; now, they love how I have found my balance.  Each has used that exact word, floundering, which means: “to make clumsy attempts to move or regain one's balance” (thefreedictionary.com). The reason the word was used was because I took a different route than what they were used to so they thought I was off course. However, I never thought I was "floundering," I used the term exploring instead. I knew exactly where I was going and working hard to get there.

From my personal journey over the past few weeks, I discovered a common thread: I need the courage to stop feeling intimidated by others.  I must develop the courage to speak my truth to everyone – no holds barred. With most people I can freely communicate what’s on my heart; but with a select few, I lack the courage to express how I feel.  

With these people, I keep my thoughts and frustrations locked inside. I get worried that if I share how I feel or think, they will not like what I have to say. Sometimes I have been excluded for my views, even though I spoke politely.  I have also had others get upset, or change the topic when I speak. Most often, I would respond by keeping quiet, playing down my views, or agreeing with them. Whichever way you look at it, I lacked courage to stand up for what I believed with these people. I have come to realize that I ‘gave up’ on my views because I like to make others happy – more so than myself. I guess I’m a ‘people pleaser.’

As it is the start of the school year, I thought it would be appropriate to ask the former principal of Wycliffe College, Dr. Reginald Stackhouse, to share his life lessons with us.  Reg is a prominent educator, a Canadian politician, and a friend of my family. I thought it would be fitting to ask him to be part of my “Profiles of Perseverance” series as he has persevered through trying times and has left a huge impact on so many lives. He is a mentor, and I am honoured to share his advice.  Reg knows the importance of nurturing the next generation and exemplifies this in how he lives his life. Thank you, Reg, for taking part in the series!

Every individual that was interviewed for my series, myself included, has stressed the importance of social support in pursuing their passion. Friends and family help you persevere through the setbacks.

You will have many obstacles in your path. So, it is essential to your success to surround yourself with people who cope with these obstacles in a positive rather than a negative manner.

I encountered an “obstacle” in my life this past week with the death of my dog, Sable. I am so blessed for all the support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!You have helped me to cope with her passing a positive and healthy manner.

While I have been talking about relationships for the past week or so, I have yet to bring up a very important relationship in people’s lives.  The one with yourself.  Many put this relationship at the lowest level of priority.

Many of us want to help others; I am the same.  However, you can’t help others in the most effective manner if you aren’t helping yourself first.  If you have ever been on an airplane, you have probably heard the safety announcement, “Make sure that your own oxygen mask is on first before helping others.”  The same principle applies here. You’ve got to attend to your own needs, before you can go about helping others effectively.  My struggle has involved making other people the focus of my relationships, without first taking time to nurture a love for myself.  While I was always going out of my way to help others and to let them know how great they were, I would never do this to myself.  I was just me.  I was certainly not like the girl in the video below.

Many people lack authentic social connections, and mask their personal issues from others.  To enable people to share their deep personal experiences, i.e., about bullying, self-esteem, and personal development, was one of the reasons I began my blog.  I think of this blog as an online “safe haven” where people can tell others about their personal issues without worry of stigmatization. It was designed as a general forum where people in need can see others sharing their stories, and thus giving them options for seeking help rather than opting for unhealthy drastic measures.

I find some people in life like to complain about their situation (i.e., their relationships, school, work, sports, etc.).   I have heard the following complaints way too often:

• I’m not happy in my relationship.
• I’m really unhappy at work.
• I’m not enjoying my thesis, etc.
• I don’t like my coach or my teammates.

It seems like they are never happy, and there is always something that is bothering them about their situation.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend the other day, which made me think about an earlier blog post I wrote, "The Value of Authenticity in Relationships." My friend and I have known each other for a number of years, and we have tried to be authentic with each other.   While I thought we were close, recent events happened that pushed us awayfrom each other and made us only discuss superficial topics.  My friend then brought up how I was a "frustrating friend," as I only talked about superficial topics; so, the friend had lost interest in our friendship. We were both going through hardships, yet we did not share with each other.  This example shows that it is even hard to reach out to share with your friends.